Sunday, September 27, 2009

FEAR?

Well friends,

We had an AWESOME weekend....Frontier City, and just great family time...Letting go of all we have had hangups about, felt so wonderful...scary at first...lol but wonderful in the end, I guess that can be said about anything though, isn't it always scary in the beginning to let go, or to try something new...

I was scared when I was a kid, that my grandparents would pass away before I was 18. They had plans in case this happened and those scared me. Scared they would never see me grow up, let alone see y girls at all. When I met Sean I was scared, when he said he thought we should marry, I was scared again...I know when I found out I was pregnant the first time with Amber I was scared to death and then when I held her.
Again scared to death and when she was growing, scared to death trying to protect her from everything, I was scared when my grandparents went to the nursing home, scared when they passed away, I was scared when I found out I was pregnant with the second one, Courtney I was scared again, it was a hard birth and we both could have died. That is for real she was breech and I had to have her feet first with not a drug one for the pain,they made Sean leave the room..I have been scared most of my life about everything and all things. It is normal to be afraid or to fear the unknown, and well if you have other excuses it is easy to just not know...

I have been afraid of roller coasters and most heights all my life, I mean yes, i used to climb trees and jump from the branches to another branch, and yes I got up on the roof of the house and sun bathed, and jumped to trees from there too...But a roof and a creaky Ferris wheel that sways in the wind are two very different things....I have always thought if I could just let go of some of the things I fear and get me down on a regular basis I could live the life I was always meant to live...does that sound stupid?
Well I believe there is a lot of firsts, new things, and things I will be afraid of to come, and just like the ride on those rides, I will strap in, maybe close my eyes at first and just plunge ahead with no fear, what ever happens...Like Sean said, It will be over soon, hang on, and just remember your not going to die..so that is how from now on I will face all my fears....jump on,strap in, hold on, , and close my eyes at first, but open them in time to enjoy the ride.....

Well on another note....I lost 7 lbs in a week well that is the last time I weighed one week ago, but as discussed before, it was probably the whole bottle of rum I drank and the fact that I was bloated...but now I am 208 and the oneders is looking not far in the distant again...So I am so excited about this...not that I doubted, just a sit back ya know...

My sister is getting out of the hospital tomorrow and I will keep you posted on the other thing about her...and I just want to thank everyone for keeping her in your prayers and the support you have given me for this is incredible...I just want to thank you all soooo very much!!! It means so much to me...Thank you again!!

Leaving you with a few of my favorites from frontier city.......
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OUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY

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COURTNEY AND ME
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AMBEE GIRL AND ME
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OUR GIRLS HAVING FUN!!
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SEAN AND ME...LOOK AT US NOW BABY!!


we had a great time....thanks for reading!!


Cheers to new beginnings,
Irene

15 comments:

  1. Ya'll look great. I don't know though--I kind of miss the goatee! Praying for your sister. Blessings--Bonnie

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  2. Look at you all....so cute....
    Sean grow back the goatie you look to young with it off...my BIL is the same has to have to goatie or he looks too young.
    I am still praying for you sister,
    I am with you with the whole fear thing .. never thought of thinking that I wont die cause I always feel I will but I guess I wont eh
    Nice post thanks
    xx

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  3. You look so young - your daughters could be your sisters! Good thoughts going out to your sister.

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  4. Way to go facing those fears Irene. I hope one day that I am as brave as you are. I posted on Sean's blog that he should regrow the goatee once the play is over - what do you think?

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  5. It's difficult to let go of our fears, but it's wise to understand how those fears sometimes hold us back in life. Way to get on that creaky rollercoaster and hang on for dear life. Like you said, sometimes that's just how you have to approach the future... eyes shut, hoping for the best and some white-knuckled gripping.

    Love the pix.

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  6. Your posts always hit home with me. I sooooo know the fears all too well. I still sometimes look back and think if only I had faced them sooner. But then I think "this is my time" and this is your time too. I loved reading about Frontier City, great pics too. Way to go on the great loss too *hugs*.

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  7. So glad you are losing the fear with the weight - I think I am too!

    Probably October you will be in onederland - how onederful is that,lol.

    What a lovely healthy family you all look!

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  8. I hate that fear. It's so deeply settled in the pit of your stomach...I hate it.

    My Nana passed away a year after I was married, and a year before I got pregnant with my son. She wasn't at my wedding. I have so many regrets.

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  9. Looking very good. I'd say you and the girls look more like sisters than mother daughter.

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  10. Hey Irene!! You and sean (and the girls) look fabulous!!! I'm so proud of you for your progress and facing your fears...Glad you enjoyed yourself!! Keep it up girl!! :)

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  11. Irene,

    Thank you for your kind words on my "fear" post. It's all about attacking those fears, isn't it. Do it anyway!

    I now look for those things that I'm afraid of... we'll always be afraid, but it's all about what we do about it, yeah?

    -Dayne

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  12. I just came from Sean's blog... I'm sorry to hear about your sister's diagnosis. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs!

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  13. Sending my love and prayers for JoEllen.
    You and your family are strong and loving, you will be the strength she needs right now.

    Hugging you all
    Sheilagh
    xxxxxxxx

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  14. Great pics of your family! Congrats on the weight loss...your so close to the Oneders!!!!

    Ive got something for you, check it out at: http://hgr8scot.blogspot.com/2009/09/over-top.html

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  15. I agree with Amy! you look like your daughters sister!!!! prayers for your sister.

    - Lisa
    http://inweighovermyhead.blogspot.com/

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