Friday, September 4, 2009

Making Lemonade

Hello again my friends,

Wow it feels like forever since I have posted...I have missed everyone and now just trying to catch up...I have been so busy 51 hours in 4 days and I am beat...gosh the things we have to go through just to get a weekend

Well My 12's are over for a few days I will return to them on Monday, but for now I have the weekend...YEAH and Labor day weekend at that...I did make some plans, but some of them fell through, but I guess that is just life, you plan and plan and sometimes nothing works out the exact way you wanted it to. I had planned for Sean and I to have this evening for ourselves but he had a 8hr rehearsal to do instead and now it is midnight and he is on his way home from another town that they ended up in. We are going to salvage what we have left of our evening, He was going to be home at 11 and now it will be after one in the morning, so not sure what we are going to do, but I hope its fun!!

Amber is in town and her and Courtney had plans tonight too, so it has just been some time for me tonight, which hasn't been bad, I have just missed everyone so bad with this schedule I have been on , that I was disappointed about how things went, and tomorrow Sean will be gone all day in Stillwater watching the OSU game so the girls and I are going to go do some shopping and garage selling it will be fun and then movies and playing games...Sunday will be the day we finally get to come together as a family and spend some time before Amber leaves again on Tuesday, because Monday I will be back to the 12's....

Well my week at work was so tiring and miserable working long hours with no sleep and then getting sick on top of that and you need sleep to help get you well and none comes...Thursday was really bad cause I was up for 30 hours with work and meetings all day...But feeling so much better loaded up on the vitamin C , the cough syrup, and sinus medicine.

Life sometimes don't go as planned so you gotta plan something else....
Kind of like the old throws you lemons...Well it makes a good drink...

I didn't plan on reaching over 345lbs- but had I not I wouldn't have gotten to know any of you; I wouldn't have gotten to know myself and my desires, I wouldn't know what all of you are going through without experiencing it on my own...I have come along way from that shy girl I used to be I am more out going and fun. I can do things I couldn't do before and the lower I go the more I will do. I want to feel free and alive, I have been dead for to many years and just living through the motions of living...No MORE, I want more!!

I didn't plan on being 37 with so much left unaccomplished- but I'm not dead yet, I have a lot of living left to do and a lot of bright things in my future still to come. When you are little you dream big, and as you get older you seem to forget how, I am dreaming big again and what ever my future holds it is going to be great!! I have accomplished a lot I am a wife of 20 years a mother to the most precious girls in the world I have a great job that I love and have worked my way up from nothing to only 2 people above me...

I didn't plan on this being so hard- because it doesn't have to be it is a way of living a change of life and one I have to make, am making, I want this for me... I have put everyone first and let myself go and I am grabbing myself... holding on to me...I cannot lose myself again I don't want to because in the end all I have is me and if I don't love me, How can anyone else really love me? I have hated myself for far to long and I am just starting to love myself again. Yes I have lost weight, 142lbs but its so much deeper than that. When you have felt ugly for so long like I have it takes time to get that is coming but one day at a time....

I didn't plan on this taking so long to get to my goal- Of course that is my mind saying that, I have never had a gain I have stayed the same but, I am doing it natural and honest and day to day the same thing 1500 calories or less and most days exercising my butt off, it hasn't been fast but it has been consistent and I am pleased with the time it is taking, of course we do get impatient and sometimes I just grab my fat belly and say go away already!!! But then I say it didn't get there overnight and so its not going away overnight it does take time and I know in the end if I keep doing what I am doing it will be done...

Well my lemon drink should be home any minute and we are going to go cause some trouble, paint the town, or what ever, there is no plan we are just going to go enjoy one another....Miss my baby, my buddy, my best friend

Cheers to new beginnings,


  1. I just realized we started our blogs on the same day! Neat! Indeed, I also echo your 'cheers to new beginnings'... you have done fabulously so far and things will just get better from here. Salute!!!

  2. Welcome back - I missed your posts!
    But this one was worth waiting for - the "I didn't plan on being 37 (56) with so much left unaccomplished" really hit home. I DO have a lot of living left to do - and 3 wonderful grandkids to enjoy.

    Glad you're feeling better and hope you get some quality family time this weekend

  3. You have achieved a lot in your life - more than many other 37 year olds I know. Just imagine how much more you will achieve in the future!

    You look totally fabulous in your progress pics - stunning!

  4. Great progress pics! I love them, you are doing awesome!

  5. What a great attitude Irene, a lot of us can learn from you! Enjoy your time with your family.

  6. Wow you work a lot of hours!! Love this post :)
    Take care and enjoy your days off!

  7. So glad to see you back - I missed you, too!

    I am glad you're feeling better, sounds like you have a nice day with your girls planned. My hubby came home sick this morning, too, so I hope he gets over it quickly.

    Love you post - life happens while you're busy making other plans, for sure. I sure didn't plan or expect to get to 370, or plan or want it to take years to get where I need to go, but as long as we get there, there will be a celebration, right?

    Lots of love!

  8. You have made so much progress, you should feel so good about yourself. We are all going to have setbacks and your right, self esteem goes so much deeper than a number on a scale. However, you will get to that place, you are already in a much better place. Keep up the positive thinking and do what you have been doing and focus on the love that surrounds you.

    Have a great day!

  9. Baby,
    What a wonderful post my love. We howled at the moon didn't we? You bet we did! You can hold you're head high baby, you ARE someone. You ARE successful in so many wonderful ways. And the future? There are no limits. I'm so happy that I'm your lemonade. You're a good long cool drink too baby!

    Sorry the rehearsal went long... We have got to have a date in Guthrie at the Pollard was amazing. But would be even better with you by my side buddycakers. Will you go out with me?


  10. I've missed you lots myRene. I know what you mean about losing yourself. I have been going through the motions of living, being a Mom and a wife for so long that I haven't enjoyed it for a long time.

    It's time for us to take back that love for life... that enjoyment in the things we do and see. We are still young and there is no sense in us not loving the life we live for the rest of what we have of it. We have a long time to live and enjoy... so let's do it! Let's start loving ourselves and the things we do once again. You know, like when we were young and we were always happy. I miss those days! And I miss you. Hope to see you soon, my dear friend.

  11. I loved this post as well. Some many wonderful thoughts, real emotions, and all with a light at the end of the tunnel.

    I hope you really enjoy your weekend and time off. I don't know how you deal with the 12s--but your new I'm sure your new health helps a lot!

  12. Way to go on all your success. Dream big big big that's what we need to do *smile*. Hope you have a great time with your buddy and girls this weekend. Glad you made it through another set of 12's. It's true to that changing ourselves doesn't happen over night and it is a process. But just think how far you've come, just amazing. To success!!!!!!!

  13. Dear Irene, thanks so much for your support. It makes all the difference.

    And thanks for such an inspirational post, full of wisdom and love.

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

  14. Love you post, as usual, you have such a lot going for you. You have raised two beautiful daughters, worked your butt off;0) and kept Sean happy for 22 years.

    My girl you are going to reap the rewards twelvefold.

    Enjoy your weekend, thank you for your very kind comment.



  15. Great post Irene - your honesty is fab. Enjoy your shortened long weekend with the family. WTG for staying on track even with such a hectic schedule and sickness too. Heres to dreaming big :o)

  16. Plans and dreams. Everyone has them, and some do not turn out the way we intended.

    I believe that everything happens for a reason...even getting overweight. Sometimes the weight opens our eyes enough to help other people, or to open new doors in our lives.

    Now we just need the courage to use it.

  17. Glad you made it back. :)

    I learned to accept my fluffier self as having value, too. I think I had to, to move on. Things happen. Life happens. We do the best we can. Then we learn something better. :)

  18. I have left posting a comment till now, as I knew you would be sleeping...well I would if I had worked the hours you have....Gosh girl you are amazing,
    You are so right about are so inspiring...
    Hey weren't you meant to weigh in with Sean...
    How did you go? Drop me a email :-)

    love ya


  19. I'm so glad you had a minute to post! You have such insightful posts. I do enjoy them!
    I hope you get some rest this weekend.