We had an AWESOME weekend....Frontier City, and just great family time...Letting go of all we have had hangups about, felt so wonderful...scary at first...lol but wonderful in the end, I guess that can be said about anything though, isn't it always scary in the beginning to let go, or to try something new...
I was scared when I was a kid, that my grandparents would pass away before I was 18. They had plans in case this happened and those scared me. Scared they would never see me grow up, let alone see y girls at all. When I met Sean I was scared, when he said he thought we should marry, I was scared again...I know when I found out I was pregnant the first time with Amber I was scared to death and then when I held her.
Again scared to death and when she was growing, scared to death trying to protect her from everything, I was scared when my grandparents went to the nursing home, scared when they passed away, I was scared when I found out I was pregnant with the second one, Courtney I was scared again, it was a hard birth and we both could have died. That is for real she was breech and I had to have her feet first with not a drug one for the pain,they made Sean leave the room..I have been scared most of my life about everything and all things. It is normal to be afraid or to fear the unknown, and well if you have other excuses it is easy to just not know...
I have been afraid of roller coasters and most heights all my life, I mean yes, i used to climb trees and jump from the branches to another branch, and yes I got up on the roof of the house and sun bathed, and jumped to trees from there too...But a roof and a creaky Ferris wheel that sways in the wind are two very different things....I have always thought if I could just let go of some of the things I fear and get me down on a regular basis I could live the life I was always meant to live...does that sound stupid?
Well I believe there is a lot of firsts, new things, and things I will be afraid of to come, and just like the ride on those rides, I will strap in, maybe close my eyes at first and just plunge ahead with no fear, what ever happens...Like Sean said, It will be over soon, hang on, and just remember your not going to die..so that is how from now on I will face all my fears....jump on,strap in, hold on, , and close my eyes at first, but open them in time to enjoy the ride.....
Well on another note....I lost 7 lbs in a week well that is the last time I weighed one week ago, but as discussed before, it was probably the whole bottle of rum I drank and the fact that I was bloated...but now I am 208 and the oneders is looking not far in the distant again...So I am so excited about this...not that I doubted, just a sit back ya know...
My sister is getting out of the hospital tomorrow and I will keep you posted on the other thing about her...and I just want to thank everyone for keeping her in your prayers and the support you have given me for this is incredible...I just want to thank you all soooo very much!!! It means so much to me...Thank you again!!
Leaving you with a few of my favorites from frontier city.......
OUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY
COURTNEY AND ME
AMBEE GIRL AND ME
OUR GIRLS HAVING FUN!!
SEAN AND ME...LOOK AT US NOW BABY!!
we had a great time....thanks for reading!!
Cheers to new beginnings,