Friday, August 28, 2009

When I Think Of Butterflies, I Think Of Freedom

Hello again my friends,

I have started the 12's so I will try to post, and comment when I can...cannot wait for them to be over, I will miss you all like CRAZY, but after these I will have 6 days off, so its a pretty good trade I think...Today was a good day in every department...

Woke up to AMAZING steak my favorite food of ALL time, my buddy loves me and loves cooking on the grill. Had some mashed potatoes and little ear of corn. At work we have a man who owns a restaurant in Kansas and comes to the casino to do some gambling, well when he comes he always brings fried rice and egg rolls to us. So I did have a little fried rice and chicken and then when I got home this morning, and still had a steak waiting for me. So well under my calories for the day.

Well today exercise was GREAT, Sean and I went to the gym and did some more weight training so sore from that, my right arm is soooo much stronger then my left, so it will take some work to get it caught up....Sean was so funny with the weights...below is some weight training pics...ALSO I whipped him all over the place on the racket ball court. He may try to tell you different on this but DON'T believe him..K?

Want to leave you with what has been on my mind since I posted on yesterday.

Sometimes do you feel that your life can change from “Cocoon to Butterfly”? Can you feel something within yourself going through a subtle gestation process? Where changes are occurring, perhaps a new direction your life-yet it is unseen? Do you feel trapped inside the cocoon and you cant seem to free yourself, alone and afraid of what the future holds for you? That you will never become the butterfly that you know you are deep inside?

The Cocoon

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly,
one day a small opening appeared, he sat
and watched the butterfly for hours, as it
struggled to force its body through that little
hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress.
It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could on its
own and could go no further


Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he
took a pair of scissors and snipped off a remaining
bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.
But it had a swollen body and small shriveled wings.


The man continued to watch the butterfly because he
expected that, at any moment , the wings would enlarge
and expand to be able to support the body, which would
contract in time, Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly
spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen
body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.


What the man in his kindness and haste did not
understand was that the restricting cocoon and the
struggle required for the butterfly to get through
the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid
from the body to the butterfly into its wings so
that it would be ready for the flight once it achieved
its freedom from the cocoon.


Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in
our life. If God allowed us to go through life without
any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not
be as strong as what we could have been when it is
time for us to fly. In your times of trial and tribulation
remember that the stronger you become, the further
and longer for a lifetime, you will fly......


Cheers to new beginnings,

Thursday, August 27, 2009

A World Without "T"

Hello again my friends,

Thank you all for posting such wonderful comments on my page yesterday...all I can say is WOW your support means so very much to me. Sometimes it is hard to look at ones self and really be able to see, I always have seen myself as not very outgoing, shy, reserved and held back from being me. So it was so good to hear all these wonderful comments about my In progress pics. You my inspirations, inspire me everyday and so glad I have you to encourage and support me as well. So that is your new names cause that's what you do for me you inspire me. You make me want to keep going, you make me know I am not alone, and you make me know the feelings and struggles that I have are shared. Because we have a common thread that holds us a tie that bonds.

First Of all I want to thank Jo a New friend of mine but very dear to my heart all ready, she has made my day today and AMAZING is all I can say about her and that doesn't even begin to describe the impression she has left on my heart. When someone tells you that you have inspired them, It is one of the most incredible feelings in the world to know that you have touched someone in this way. I have only been bloging for less then two weeks about 10 days, but the joys I have gotten here are unbelievable it I would have known, If i would have believed, I would have started at birth...LOL But for real I am AMAZED that I am actually able to inspire anyone. So thank you so much Jo for making me someone who had the privilege of touching your life.

I had all these big plans for my blog last night, and the computer would not cooperate with any of it, so I tried to save it and lost that too. So this is starting over from scratch. Our schedules didn't mesh well at all last night Courtney was sick and left school early, Sean had weather coverage and didn't know how long he would be, so dinner was delayed and schedule was modified. We did finally get to eat, but not together and with the rain and storms we didn't get our 5K in so I opted for some good ole' around the house exercise which was fun and exhausting all at the same time, so it was good.

One of the things I look at the most on my blog is, “Whether you think you can, or think you can't you're right” That statement is so true. So many times we have said this is to hard, I cant do this, I don't want to try anymore. Then what you have done is created in your mind a reason “an excuse” not to, and you may not even realize what you have done. I have heard them with Sean, I have heard them with me, I have watched us give up by giving into what we tell ourselves we can not do.

The thing I have noticed is when I was 345 I had never been that high before, EVER. I always was between 200 and 250 . So even though I have dropped 142 pounds I am only where I have already been before, so I want to see myself at 150,140 ,130 somewhere that I have never been since high school. I have to see it I want to see, and I will. Where as Sean is already in a different place, a place he has never been in his whole adult life, In fact the face that looks back at me I have NEVER seen it is AMAZING and I want him to see the face he has never seen before in me. That is why I keep going that is why I am not done, that is why friends and family always notice such a difference in Sean and not in me, because I have been here before. Most of my adult life never getting below 200lbs this face and this skin I am is gonna change and I will become the butterfly that is locked up still.

Take away the T and what you have is CAN

I cant do this today
I cant change my eating habits
I cant do this for life
I cant handle the stress
I cant get motivated
I cant stay motivated
I cant stop mood eating
I cant enjoy the foods i like
I cant handle a buffet
I cant get past my mind set
I cant eat just one
I cant resist temptation
I cant see my future changing
I cant see myself thin
I cant look people in the eye
I cant change myself
I cant picture things different
I cant dream
I cant I cant I cant I cant


Cheers to new beginnings,

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

New Pics And A Great Day

Hello again friends,

So good to be able to catch up some today, I have more to read and comment on, but I did get a lot done today. I am off the next two days but starting Friday, I will be doing 8 twelves in a row so it is gonna be hard to keep up, I will try but just in case you wonder where I went...LOL I will be working my butt off...and that is FOR REAL...LOL

Amber at is back...YEAH have missed her posting. Sean at has a new toy on his blog if you haven't gone to check it you soooo should he has an interview with the popular blogger Jack sh*t getting' fit at Very funny stuff :-)

Well today was a great day off with lots to do. I woke up with tacos, because my buddy loves me, two party tacos and one soft which was 500 calories and then for dinner I cooked some pork chops scalloped potatoes and had some green beans and that came in at about 310. I have had lots of water today and to much coffee, but coffee with the creamer I am still spending about 250 of my calorie budget for coffee....Not good!! Later on for my dinner I had a bacon sandwich with 50 calorie dressing and low calorie bread and so that checked in at about 300 with 4 pieces of bacon and lots of tomatoes....YUMMY it was so for the day so far I have had......1360 and so i might have a banana or a nutri-grain bar with one more cup of coffee before bed, but today was great in the calorie department. Right at the 1500 I give myself...

Well Sean and Courtney and myself decided that we were going to go to the gym tonight and get in some weight training, and boy are my arms already feeling it....we lifted weights and did about 6 reps in all and I even got in some crunches before we left after the cardio on the treadmill, it was a lot of fun wish my schedule let me do this with them all the time, I hate it that it don't and that I can't always go, but I love the times that I can....We usually do the 10K on Tuesday, but maybe we can tomorrow...or at least a 5K...I will let you know..I do want to go back to the gym though for some more weight training, gotta really work them muscles.

Thank you everyone for all the wonderful comments they REALLY do mean the world to me...nothing helps me stay focused more then YOU...So thank you...

well some people have said I need to add some body shots and I do mean I have been taking some tonight and I hope you like them...still working on the reality





I had a little toooo much fun doing this:-)









So there you go....In progress pics....I hope you all like them!!!


Cheers to new beginnings,

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

See The Signs

Hello again friends...

I have missed you all so so much...Feel so out of touch with everyone.. I did get to catch up on a few blog's, but still have so much more to catch up on. The last few days have been fine at work it all went smooth and stress free, unlike last weekend... it seemed to go by very fast too. Keeping busy just really makes the time go by.

Still been flying by in the calories and NO pop...Figuring out I can do this after all...getting plenty of exercise, not the sleep though, But did catch up a little today.

Amber says she misses everyone too...she will post again soon, she is just getting settled in and been taking time fixing up her room.

Tonight I thought I would share what has been on my mind all weekend...Cant seem to get all the signs out of my head...

There are so many telling you what to do and where to go.....


Sometimes it just gets so confusing.....


But there are those that just stand out that ARE crystal clear and make perfect sense...and that is what I've been doing a lot of thinking about the last few days....



This is my favorite and so true in the shape of a stop sign....because if you stop then you.....

So if you follow all the CLEAR signs and ignore all the things that don't make ANY sense then the only thing you have at the end of this journey is PURE JOY!!!

Just something I have been thinking about there may be a few......Photobucketin the road......

But you can get through it and overcome ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you set your mind to!!!

Want to leave you with this...


.Signs are everywhere, Some say stop and some say go,
Some say the speed limit and some say go slow...

On this journey your journey, and mine
Not tomorrow today is the time,

.Try to always see the positive in every day,
There is gonna be so many along your way..

Your gonna notice things you couldn't do before,
things you have only dreamed of at your door,

Tie your shoe with ease and lay down and see your feet,
Droppin' the pounds, closer to your goal complete,

Your pants are getting baggy and soon they wont fit,
Changes in your body You've come to far to quit,

People will notice you as they ask what you have done,
All you need to say is I put me number one,

I loved myself enough to keep going and never quit,
A lot of things I had to go through to get trim and fit,

See the signs my friend and hold your head up high,
Even if you think you failed just give another try,

No speed you have to go, no U-Turn in this game,
Dead end or to stop will only cause you pain,

Take one last look at your past erase it from your mind,
Only positive signs on this journey yours and mine:

Cheers to new beginnings,

Sunday, August 23, 2009

My Comfort Zone

Hello again friends,

Just wanted to say a quick message that......

I have truly missed reading blogs this weekend,so far. I will have a lot of catching up to do come Monday after my 12's are done for a few days.

Some of the blogs I have had a chance to read I have noticed a lot of my friends are struggling... So I just thought I should share something for them this morning...

My Comfort Zone
Author Unknown

I use to have a Comfort Zone
Where I knew I couldn't fail
The same four walls of busy work
Were really more like jail.

I longed so much to do the things
I'd never done before,
But I stayed inside my Comfort Zone
And paced the same old floor

I claimed to be so busy
With the things inside my zone,
But deep inside I longed for
Something better to come along.

I couldn't let my life go by,
Just watching others win.
I held my breath and stepped outside
And let the change begin.

I took a step and with new strength
I'd never felt before,
I kissed my Comfort Zone 'goodbye'
And closed and locked the door.

If you are in a Comfort Zone,
Afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were
At one time filled with doubt.

A step or two and words of praise,
Can make your dreams come true.
Greet your future with a smile,
Success is there for you!

I really hope it helps!!

Today was a good day, no stress at work ate less than 1200 calories today and had no pop and lots of exercise:-)

I hate to leave so much I want to say and so many friends I want to comment on their days....but I have to go to bed now and sleep so I can get through my last 12 hours. I promise I will catch up on the reading I love it, and gonna try on my days off to get Sean and Courtney to take some more pics:-) Full body shots are coming...

Cheers to new beginnings,

Friday, August 21, 2009

Weight Loss Garden

Hello again friends,

I Thank you each and everyone who will keep my sister in your prayers, that means a lot to me!! Thank you so much!!

Well today was a good day, got plenty of rest ate well and didn't have any pop...only water for me today. Okay well I did also have coffee, me and coffee have become very close.... Pulling 12 hour shifts and staying up 20 hours at a time well water just don't do what coffee does...

Had my weigh in today and lost another 2lbs gone forever...Yeah wanted to lose more, so I could be below 200 when Sean goes below 300 but all that means is I have my work cut out for me the next two weeks...I would have to lose 9 pounds though and I might be able to if pop stays out of my mouth...So that is one of the changes I am going to make....Oh and eight 12 hour shifts in a row should help

OOHH did you know....

To lose one pound of fat, you must burn approximately 3500 calories over and above what you already burn doing daily activities. That sounds like a lot of calories and you certainly wouldn't want to try to burn 3500 calories in one day.

However, by taking it step-by-step, you can determine just what you need to do each day to burn or cut out those extra calories. ...which is what I will be doing by giving up the pop...and going to cut my calories to 1200 which is pretty much what Ive been eating anyway....

I have to do a little reflecting today too...Just so proud of how far we have all I am going to add some more pics...The first ones not so flattering....but to know you gotta see..


Courtney before


Courtney now


Amber before


Ambee now




Me before




me now


Sean before





By the way I may not get to post for a few days at least not long ones...I will try to post a little at a time but I will be working twelves the next three days...and then I will also catch up with comments...So if I don't leave one you know why....gotta go back to work:-(

Wanna leave you with this....

Plant Your Weight loss Garden Today
First, plant 3 rows of peas;
Politeness (to yourself)

Next, plant 3 rows of squash;
Squash self-doubt
Squash indifference
Squash criticizing yourself for making human mistakes

Then, plant 3 rows of lettuce;
Let us be caring to ourselves
Let us start making little steps toward our goals Let us be a person who tries

Finish, with 4 rows of turnip;
Turn up with positive thoughts
Turn up with a Smile
Turn up with a Vision
Turn up with Determination


Cheers to new beginnings,

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Feeling Inspired

Hello again Friends,

Thank everyone again for all the awards!! It was so hard to pick only 15, because I follow everyone of you for so many different reasons....some make me laugh, some make me cry, some make me think and some are funny and unique but all of you inspire me, not just the 15 I choose, but all of you, and I cannot thank you enough for your comments, your words of wisdom and all of the inspiration I have found here!

This is for all of you.....


Well today was a day, I did not get to weigh today, when I had the opportunity it wasn't available for me to grasp...So it will be tomorrow, hopefully I have something great to report...

Today started with my sister, she is 13 months younger than me, and she has been dealing with her thyroid now for all of her adult life, just like me she has thyroid disorders but hers are tumors ,Benin but tumors just the same.

Her husband left her back last November with the four children and no means of transportation. Well she had a doctors appointment today so I went to get her to take her there. Her tumors have gotten bigger and now take up most of her neck. It cuts off her breathing and hurts to bend her neck, talk or even breath, which she has a rough time doing.

She was referred to a surgeon today and she has another appointment for Monday. So please keep her in your prayers, I worry about her so very much. Hopefully she can once and for all have them removed and everything goes well. It will for sure change her life.

Decide To Be Healthy
Dr. Robert Muller

Decide to be healthy.

Pray to God every day for good health.

Take health as your sacred, God given duty.

Make no room whatsoever for the slightest thought of sickness.

Encourage your trillions of faithful little cells through joy, happiness and confidence.

Thank them, talk to them, sing to them.

Let no foul air, food or liquid poison you.

Let no anger, anxiety or bitterness enter you.

Wake up every morning with gratitude for your resurrection and repeat ten times:

"I am the happiest and healthiest person on earth."

Repeat it again before you sleep.

Close your eyes and think of God, good health and happiness.

And thank your Father in heaven who has given us a body never to be sick, a mind never to be dull, a consciousness never to be empty, and a spirit full of
the heavens and of the Earth.

Thank you all for listening to me tonight....

Sean was a little bummed about his weigh in I thought he needed a little reminder....:-)


Before at 505




Wow....Sean baby your AMAZING!!!

well friends need to wrap it up once again.... want to leave you with this.....

Author Unknown

Whatever our hands touch -
We leave fingerprints!
On walls, on furniture
On doorknobs, dishes, books.
There's no escape.
As we touch we leave our identity.

Wherever I go today
Help me leave heartprints!
Heartprints of compassion
Of understanding and love.

Heartprints of kindness
And genuine concern.
May my heart touch a lonely neighbor
Or a runaway daughter
Or an anxious mother
Or perhaps an aged grandfather.

Send me out today
To leave heartprints.
And if someone should say,
"I felt your touch,"
May they also sense the love
that is deep within my heart.

Cheers to new beginnings,