Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thank you and saying good-bye poem by Irene Anderson

Hello,

WOW...Thank you all for your comments and for adding me, that means so much!!
....you guys are amazing...explains why Sean loves you all so much...

When I started losing weight I was miserable, just wanted out of this "fat suit" that I had done to myself so bad. Blamed it on a lot of things my thyroid, my quitting smoking after 17 years or more, nobody doing it with me....and the list goes on and on. I do have thyroid dis function that does make it hard to lose weight, cause my metabolism is rock bottom half the time, and when you stop smoking you do want to replace it with something, so I replaced them with skittles...lol and that went on for two years until I started smoking again, and of course it is easier to lose weight if you have someone to lose it with you. Someone to walk and talk and encourage you along the way. I blamed it on my job, sitting behind a computer all day 5-6 days a week sometimes 10 hours a day and eating skittles, of course I gained. Got up to 345 and so ashamed and embarrassed of that number, but it is what it is, at 5"7" or 5"6" what ever height I am it was devastating to me and I had no idea I weighed that much. I knew I felt bad and it was hard to breath at times, but it wasn't until I went to my doctor for my thyroid that I got on some scales and for the first time ever realized what I had done.

I knew I had to get busy, my first thought was quit my job, and find something where I could have more movement. Stop sitting around and eating skittles all day, what is the matter with you. I did that and now 130 some pounds later and a little over two years ago, I am now a floor manager at a casino and have non stop movement. Although movement isn't everything, it has been slow for me, because I struggle with pop...Pepsi to be exact, okay I am a Pepsi addict.... there I said it, if it wasn't so good we would have less problems, but that is my ice cream, my pastry, my worst temptation is pop...Sean still has that face whenever he sees me with it that says, "really your still gonna have pop, thought you were serious Irene" Well I am and I try to pass it off like his ice cream, cause i cant have ice cream so I just tell him a can of Pepsi is 150 and so is our ice cream cone, its just what I choose to have. Although I have come along way with the pop, we don't have two liters in the house anymore and so I can resist the temptation there, but at the place where I work, pop is free and in every room there is to choose from, but no Pepsi so less tempting...lol. I have cut it way back from where it was, and soon I will let it go completely, I drink a lot of coffee, tea, and water with the flavoring though, the problem is I hate the taste of water without something sweet, or unless I am sweating and then there is nothing better.


I also struggle with some foods, pastry and sweets have never been a real problem for me, but moderataion has, and so its hard to explain the skittles, I honestly don't know what got into me, I guess just something I could get from the vending machine with a lot in a bag and sit there and have something in my mouth.... When I was growing up we had a garden beautiful, big and all summer we would take care of it and my aunts garden too, hers was right next to ours. We would eat from that garden all year round I have always been a fan of fruits and vegetables, but of late not so much of either, mainly chicken, steak and I always have to have a vegetable, but not the real good ones....I have a lot of improvements I need to make to eating better, for example with my job it is hard to eat while I am there, we are constantly busy so usually I get one meal a day on average and sometimes two, but very rarely three, and differently no time for snacks, which is what Sean has been doing," feeding the wood burning stove", and I know if I can do this it will help. I know I can do it, but while I'm still losing it is easily justified to me, mind you I'm not losing as fast as I should or could without it, but still losing. Something I have to improve on....my goal is to be where I want to be by summer 2010 140 pounds or "what ever feels right".I I used to think that I just wanted to be under 200 lbs but that is no longer my goal, it is now to be the best me I can be in every way. I know I sset another goal before the first one was completed, but thats how I am going to get to the next one, can't stop and celebrate just yet....

used to think that I just wanted to be under 200 lbs but that's no longer my goal, it is now to be the best me I can be in every way. i know I set another goal before the first one was completed, but thats how Im going to get to the next one can't stop and celebrate just yet....


I'm saying Good-bye

Saying good-bye to bad choices and horrible thinking,
Good-bye to tight fits and clothes cause baby I'm shrinking;

Good-bye to the snickers and awkward glances when I walk into a room,
Good-bye to the "someday" cause it's gonna be very soon;

Good-bye to the temptations that have always held me back before,
Good-bye to the "I cant's" cause I don't believe that anymore;

Good-bye to the insecurity and doubt that comes into my brain,
Good-bye to the excuses cause there is none that remain;

Good-bye to the yesterdays and good-bye to the past;
Good-bye to the fears I ve had that I can't make this last;

Good-bye to the mental hangups and thoughts that I will fail,
Good-bye to the I cant succeed, cause I know this time its for real;

Good-bye to the things that have always gotten in my way,
Good-bye to the poor choices, cause there is nothing that can make me stray;



Irene Anderson 2009


In closing I just wanna say how pleased I am to have all of you that have added me and have left me comments, It is a privilege to share with you and such an inspiration to me to follow you on your journeys as well. Thank you for taking the time to visit me....It means so much!!!


Cheers to new beginnings,
Irene



18 comments:

  1. I LOVE your poem! There is so much I can relate to in your journey so far...I wish I had caught mine at 345, I didn't until 370. I can't wait for the day I hit 100 pounds lost, and then to my final "feels right" weight. Keep fighting your good fight - you are such a winner!

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  2. I like having the little things to pop in my mouth too. .. for healthier choices than Skittles try grapes, cherries, kumquats, berries. . . course some of these are squishier than Skittles would be at work. . .

    Also, I am a bit coffee girl myself. I've realized that some of what appeals to me about it are other sensual things besides just the taste--I like its color with the milk, I like the warmth of the mug between my hands, giving myself time to stop and breathe over it, taking a break to go get it. . .for cold drinks for me. . . a lot of it is the ice--like I love those little tiny kind of rounded edges "squares of ice"--like you sometimes get with fountain drinks.

    I thought of this because of your earlier post about the senses. . .maybe you have a sensual connection with Pepsi that you could explore and eventually replace?

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  3. Thank you for your comment tried to go to you but it wouldnt let me for public reasons, but i just wanted to say you are soooo right I to love the ice even when done with the pop its the ice that I love, love munching on the ice...and OMG you hit the coffee, me EXACTLY I love to savour it completly!!! Love coffee for those reasons...love french vanilla cream though...working on that...

    thank you!!
    Irene

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  4. Just a few hints that have helped me so far...

    Frozen grapes. They last forever and are a sweet cold treat!

    Cold brewed Iced coffee..save the Starbucks money and if you want to buy the flavored syrups, get the sugar free ones.

    Buy a slushie maker and the sugar free syrups for that...great fun way to increase your water intake.

    Another is to buy the sugar free vitamin powders to add to the water...

    Glad to hear your side of your family's story! Welcome to bloggerland :D

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  5. Great post! Sounds like you are well on the road to being a more healthy you!

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  6. I used to love love love skittles too. I used to have them mid afternoon at work, they were my pick me up, I needed something, everyone else had coffee, I would have skittles, not realizing that theres a lot more calories in skittles compared to coffee. I now do what Sean does and eat regularly so dont have that same dip in the afternoon that I need to fill with skittles. In fact I havent had skittles since March and that was a birthday treat! I am with LIIV on the frozen grapes, also try blending some frozen banana its just like icecream only healthier.

    Good luck on the rest of your journey, you are doing brilliantly, I cant imagine trying to do all of this whilst working shifts, but you are obviously making it work for you.

    Great blog too :o)

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  7. I loved you're good-bye poem, such great words. You're whole post I could identify with. I've had a sitting job my whole life I'm envious that you can be up and moving around everyday, that's great.

    For the skittles thing (I'm a candy person but chocolate was my thing) a lot of people suggested chewing gum to me so I do keep a pack in my purse all the time and that does help. At work I tend to munch on almonds. I just get out a serving because they are high in calories. But they really do satisfy me when I'm feeling hungry or munchy.

    I prefer something in my water too. I'm a crystal light girl, I love the peach mango green tea. I've learned to dilute it too.

    I think it's hard to learn to eat well after so many years of eating whatever we want. You and Sean and the girls have each other though which is so wonderful. I think it's sooo important to have that support team and to have it at home is even better.

    I'm so happy you decided to start writing too. I can already see I'm waiting for the next post lol.

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  8. Loved the good-bye poem. You have always been such a good writer.

    You can kick the pop.... you have it in you. I know you do. ;-)

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  9. Fantastic poem baby. I only give you a hard time about the pop because I hate to see you drink up your calories with pure sugar!!! BUT---I understand what you're saying---it's all about our choices. And if you choose to spend 150 to 250 a day on poop, I mean pop...then it's all good.
    I love you baby,
    My best hugs and kisses always,
    very proud and happy that you started this blog.
    BE Critical of me!!!! You know I'm far from perfect---go ahead, tell them---it's cool!

    Love

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  10. Love, Love, Love the poem...you're a lovely writer and I can already see how much I'm going to enjoy reading your blog.

    My highest point was 340. I feel ya' on how you could do this to yourself. We could beat ourselves up about that ALL DAY...or we could do something to change it. We are. :)

    I also have hypothyroidism and according to my doctor my metabolism is "in the toilet". She once told me I'd have to work 3X as hard as a person with normal metabolism to lose the weight. Great. How inspiring, lol.

    I also have PCOS with is a great big pile of health problems all rolled into one diagnosis. Here's the really fun part...there's no "cure" per say. The best I can do is lesson the symptoms (there's about 10 of them) by losing weight. That's what I'm doing. That's what WE are doing together. :)

    You drink Pepsi. I drink Coke. Or I should say, I used to. The next time you visit my blog, please read one of my first posts titled "Coke, Chocolate and Cha-Cha-Changes". You will see just how addicted to Coke I was, describing that I would NEVER be able to let it go. I was wrong. :) I now drink a tiny 8 oz, 100 calorie can of Coke once every 2 weeks, and it's tasting worse and worse every time I have one. I know, I know, you don't believe it. Just go read the post...you'll see what I'm talking about. :)

    Quitting smoking...I haven't done that yet. I have the desire, but I don't have the guts. I'm terrified it will make me eat EVEN more and defeat my weight loss efforts, so I haven't even gone there yet. Decided to get rid of one addiction at a time.

    Replacing Skittles...yummy little sugary bits of evil, aren't they? :) I kicked my vending machine habit by measuring out 1 oz. portions of almonds and walnuts and putting them in those little Ziploc snack bags and keeping them in my desk at work. I'm unemployed right now, but when I am working, I work in the Accounting field, so I know all about sitting at a desk 10 hours a day and sometimes longer. When I get another job, will have to do my exercise on the track and walking trails at the park.

    Water...I personally love it and drink (3) 32 oz. glasses a day. However, when i used to go to Weight Watchers, I had a leader that hated it too. Her suggestions were to use flavor packets, buy the tiny plastic bottles so it doesn't look so intimadating all at once, and just keep refilling it from the time you get up til the time you go to bed. Squeeze in some fresh lemon juice or fresh lime juice...also oranges...to add some flavor. That won't give you sweetness though. I use the Special K "K2O" protein packets in mine. They have 3 flavors, pink lemonade, iced tea, and strawberry kiwi. I love those, but don't like mine too sweet, so I pour one into my 32 oz. plastic tumbler and fill it all the way up with water. I drink one every day right after I get off the treadmill to feed and repair my muscles.

    I hope these tips help...sorry it was so long-winded. And I'm so glad you're here. :)

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  11. Hi, Irene! I've read so much about you on Sean's blog... and I am so happy that you started your own blog now! You are such an inspiration... and it will be delightful getting to know more about your weight loss journey!

    And... the poem is beautiful! :)

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  12. What a beautiful poem mommy! I love it. I am glad you created a blog...I created one last night TOOOOOO! haha. How funny is that? I'm so proud of you my beautiful momma girl! We will all be at our goals in NOOOOO time at all. :)

    I love you very much and I miss you like crazy girlll

    xoxooxoxoxoxoxox
    -ambeee girl

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  13. I love your goodbye

    I was very addicted to diet coke ...and I kicked the habit...I later worked out that it made me depressed and wanting sweet stuff
    You can so do it ....the first week is the hardest then you only have 2 weeks to go till it is a habit to not have it ...thinking of you

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  14. Great poem! I know that you will reach your goals, you have a great support system. I am now following your daughter's blog as well...I am inspired by your family, you guys are awesome!

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  15. Momma your comment made me cry! I love you so much...and I can't tell you enough how proud of you I really am. You, Daddy, and Sissy...have really shown me IT CAN BE DONE. And I will get it done Mommy. Thank you for all that you do...and thank you for the poem it was beautiful...just like you!

    I miss you! And I can't wait to see you Sunday!
    xoxoox
    -Ambee girlll

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  16. That is funny... skittles. I had something for a while... birthday cake. Literally would buy a birthday cake a week (or a bunch of the little slices they sell separately now)... there is never a bad time for a birthday cake (cough*) except of course EVERY WEEK, and when you are topping the scales at 365 pounds.

    YOU are a incredibly creative and articulate woman; it is fun to the see "other" part of the relationship...

    And wonderful, incredible job on the weight loss- I told Sean some time ago that it was a true testament to be involved in changing the WHOLE dynamic of the family. What really stands out to me is that you two have created an environment where your two beautiful daughters have felt comfortable enough to change their lives too. THAT IS AMAZING! Who knew that by losing weight as a mother- that your two daughters would follow suit??

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  17. Hi Irene, I just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself. My name is Reina and I have been reading your husband's blog for several months now. He has really inspired me to make a difference in my own life instead of allowing circumstances to determine how I live (or lose!). I have been reading your blog every day since you started it, I just haven't had a chance to comment until now. I am really enjoying it! You are a very beautiful lady and you are doing so well on your weight loss journey! Keep up the good work, girl!

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